Sunday, December 9, 2012

Eggface Time

I think that will be my new official post title for anything Eggface related, like this here giveaway she is so generously hosting. Check this out for her holiday giveaway basket o' Celebrate goodies! :)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

5 months - 74 lbs down

Well I just passed my 5 month surgerversary on the 27th of November. I know this is a little late, sorry about that. I just get distracted and then I don't realize I didn't jot down my thoughts or anything. So I started this journey at 353 pounds. I am 5 foot 4 if anyone is interested to know that. So I had a 1 week pre-op diet that I don't think I really lost much weight per se but I lost a lot of water. I have a desk job that I do at home and I also play lots of video games on the computer, so I tend to retain a lot of water. Well... I USED to. So I think I was like basically the same weight when I went to the hospital to have my VSG surgery but honestly I'm not sure I really can remember exactly if I lost anything during that week. I DO remember walking out of my hospital room dressed and ready to go the next day and asking if they could weigh me, because they had not. The nurse rolled a scale on over and it said 340. So from then until now it's been 61 pounds but in all it's been 74. I always count from my highest weight because the time pre-op to now is all from the same journey.

So I just can't believe I'm about 75 pounds down already.. I had a goal to be 275 by New Years, sort of like a first true goal. I mean, I was ecstatic to be under 300 pounds let me tell you!! But it just didn't feel like a bigger picture type of milestone to me. So my second goal will be 250 just because it feels like a good number. After that, 199. That will be the day!!!!! I have not seen 100's since I was about 13 years old or maybe even younger. No joke!!!

So I know I can do it, 4 lbs by New Years. I will roll in the New Year with a smile on my face ready to kick ass!! 75 lbs in 2013? I KNOW I can do it. I've ALREADY done it once! I can do it twice! 150 lbs is a huge deal. My ultimate goal for ever is to be 150 lbs, but I am not sure if I will be able to get this because of the skin I will have. So this one is an ultimate goal but it's "loose" hahaha pun intended, because of the loose skin. Get it?? Anyway, if I have to have plastic surgery to get rid of some skin to be able to get to 150 then it will just have to be at a time that can happen. 175 would be amazing and definitely still a healthy weight range.

I can FEEL my clavicle bones coming through but still can't see it unless I do some weird shoulder maneuvers (you know you've done it). I am waiting the day I can see those babies poking right on out!! I remember after my sister lose weight with RNY coming to her house after a couple weeks or so not seeing her and being like HOLY CRAP I CAN SEE YOUR CLAVICLES!! It was an awesome moment for her for sure.

Time to wrap this up, it's almost 2 AM. I had so many blessings today. I was approved for $170 food stamps (finally) so this should help me out a great deal again. It's been almost 2 months but they are giving me $90 for the month of November so I should have $260 right off the bat. I just have to wait for the EBT card to come. I don't know if anyone else out there is having financial difficulties as I am, or has. But I'm not ashamed. I make about $300/mo and my financing bill is $440 a month for my VSG. I have someone in my life who has actually taken it upon themselves to pay this for me. I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am for this person and for God having this person been in my life at the moments that they were and kind and capable enough to do such a thing for another unworthy human being. I had a woman today send me a message on Facebook to offer some Prilosec because of my financial difficulties and having such a bad acid build up post-op and having to "stretch out" the 14 day packs that you get. It really is coinsidental because I had picked 1 person from my group at random (there were a couple in the group that were not random) to send a Christmas card to, and this was the woman. I had made the card up for her to be as a surprise, and then checked Facebook and had a message from her. It was too cool! I just have so many people I wish I could meet in person and give a huge hug to and just spend real quality time with them. It's nice having positive people in my life for once, who GENUINELY care and would do such kind things.

All I know is, once the holidays are over and everything financially gets put back together, I will 100% be paying it forward. So that makes like 3 people from my support group to lend a hand to me, without my asking. I had asked for peoples unwanted protein powders before and a woman sent cash instead for me to buy what I wanted. I believe I posted about that previously but I'll never forget it. Every one of these people that have helped me along the way are getting a Christmas card. It IS the least I can do right now. And I feel like God is really on my side right now. I just have to keep on doin' what I'm doin'.

Sorry for the lengthy post! I hear people do not like these as much.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Portion Control!

Wow. Okay so the last week I feel hungry, all the time. I thought it may be due to some sort of weird carb intake but according to MyFitnessPal I've only been MAYBE in the 60's as a high. That's still not a LOT compared to before. But also I noticed I eat a bit more before I feel my restriction than I usually do. What is going on? Is it due to a menstrual cycle perhaps coming on (I think it's early but it's possible)? I am freaking out. Of course the portion size is within reason compared to what it was like pre-op but I feel like this is not normal. I could easily eat a cup of food and feel like I could eat more, that real restricted feeling not coming on yet. I'm so confused and freaking out. I don't want to mess up my stomach :( I've just been watching what I eat. Today's total carbs are at 28 and that was with a bit of rice in my dinner and a tiny taste of bread (I made something for lunch I didn't like and was on the go, this was a POOR excuse!). Dinner was out of my control. It was brown rice but rice all the same.

So... I'm hung. I don't know what's wrong. I feel hungry about every 3 or so hours just from what little I been eating the past week for portion. I was fine with my portioning until a week ago and it's just been like I can't get enough. And my restriction does not feel like it is there as much as it was? Blahhhh.